via US Soccer’s Facebook page – Missing: Landycakes and a hoops kit to purchase
The mission: Buy my son a toddler/youth USA red and white hoops jersey for his 4th birthday.
The result: Failure
The reason: I wish I knew.
Where would you start in this venture? The US Soccer Store, right? Me too.
Here’s what they offer on the “boy’s page”: Two jerseys, neither in the hoops, and understandably one is the recently released centennial version. And no shorts. And priced at a quickly outgrown and inconvenient $63. Stop catering to the subdivision soccer moms!
Second choice? soccer.com! They’re always advertising their selections!
Let’s narrow our search with that awesome clicking tool, shall we!
That page: Five jerseys, all the centennials, one blank and four with pre-determined numbers. We’ve crossed into the ladies now – growing our potential buyer pool – except WAIT!! Why is Wambach’s jersey #14? She wore #20 in Portugal on Monday! No dark blues, no hoops, and one wrong number. Facepalm for you, Mr. Goal Club.
All right, how about Amazon.com! They’ve got EVERYTHING on that site! It’s like an online Skymall for the middle class!
Search: youth soccer jersey – and narrow it down by NIKE and international soccer…what’d we get?
OK – maybe Amazon was a stretch. They’re not exactly known for their apparel/replica stuff. Let’s go to a sporting goods website. Namely – Dick’s Sporting Goods. EVERY SEASON STARTS AT DICK’S, remember!
But not the USA qualification season for the Brazil 2014 World Cup apparently.
The rundown – Home: Fan Shop: MLS & International Soccer: NIKE
How’d we do? 28 items total, 11 of them soccer balls, three of them branded for the USA – including two for the centennial. Two USA tops: a t-shirt and a hoodie. Like, a dozen frickin ‘prematch shirts’ whatever the hell those are. And ONE jersey, the Dutch (not in orange).
I guess at least they have a healthy MLS selection. After all, Dick’s is the sponsor of the venue hosting a World Cup qualifier in nine days, where Team USA would be wearing these things if it wasn’t the centennial (and they still might wear the hoops? I didn’t see anything in the March 1 release noting when the centennials would be worn the first time).
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Look, if the hoops kits were an 11-month thing, fine. I like them – and I get others don’t. But I’m shocked at the lack of success I had finding these things online in places I thought would have what I was looking for. My son has no fewer than six full toddler kits in his drawers from his godmother and godfather who travel a lot internationally and enjoy outfitting their nephew in some sweet stuff.
In a house divided (my wife is Mexican-American), I’m looking to even that dresser drawer out a bit on his birthday – during a qualification year. I don’t want to spend $60-plus on something he’ll wear for a year or two. I just want a decent replica kid’s jersey – possibly with shorts. Within a few clicks.
I get where we stand on the global football stage and that nearly every soccer-playing boy under 14 years old on the planet wants to be Leo Messi, but how do you not see the upside that merchandise (jersey) sales have for your brand and budget? You put together those shiny Facebook photo albums and less than a year later I can’t find one for my kid? You aren’t USA Water Polo for cripes sake.
How do I know that? Go read this. “We’re” ranked #32 by FIFA (down four spots from the previous release) in what I believe is a patriotic and soccer-hungry country. I really hope they’re selling toddler and youth jerseys for $15 in Denver next Friday night for Game 2 of The Hex. Flood the whole damn 2-12 year old demographic with USA jerseys and see what happens, would you please? It’s not like you’ve reproduced the ’94 kits!
If Uncle Tim – that long-ago high school football hero who “doesn’t get” soccer and is now balding – makes fun of his Where’s Waldo shirt at barbeques this summer, so be it! At least he’s acknowledged it! On September 10, 2013 when Mexico comes north, they’ll both be glued to their TV sets, and those young boys could be wearing their kits, chanting “U-S-A”.
Hey, did I do this search for a jersey wrong? Very possibly.
Did US Soccer and NIKE do this wrong? No doubt in my mind.
But hey, the Oregon Ducks have elevendy billion football uniform combinations, so we’re all good.
InclusiveBeechwoodAging 
